Bows...are a few of my favoirite things!

Hi Friends,

Remember me?! As our family has faced lots of transition and illness since school started, I have struggled to continue to post to my blog. But as recent events over the weekend displayed God's faithfulness, I had to visit and share with you.

On Friday, I received an e-mail from a friend who is leading me and a few girlfriends in Bible Study. She was reminding us to not get lost in the stressfulness of the holidays. I replied with some thoughts that had been stirring in my heart all week. I had them scribbled down on the back of an envelope by my night stand with an orange felt pen (Writer friends, you understand, right?)

I love to gift wrap. In my opinion the way a gift is wrapped and how it is given is just as important as what is inside. So, I take my time wrapping and love cloth and hand tied bows instead of the adhesive...what a display of beauty, time, and concentration!

But don't let that EVER stop ya from sharing a gift with me (HA HA) because, in the hussell and bussell of Christmas, it never fails that I end up grabbing a couple of the plastic adhesive bows and slapping them on a gifts. Never fails. You know the feeling...not really what I wanted to do, but I didn't WISELY plan or prepare for what my heart really wanted to do.

Now, think of the WISE men.


As they really gave their gifts to the KING, not just to Mary and Joseph, how did they do it? Bow, is my answer. Not just any person was born, Jesus Christ was named King of Kings and Lord of Lords. They had made such plans and preparations following the star, traveled so long and come so far to find HIM, my heart (and the Word) tells me they didn't stand at the door and offer the gift to the parents.

The WISE men HAD TO enter the place, come close to Jesus, take time after preparations and planning, and bow, as they presented their gifts.

Now, I am not going to get all tied up about the timing of when they got to Jesus, was it right away or 2 years later. Should they really go with the nativity set or not.... The story of their gift giving to Jesus is in the Word and I just want to learn from their humble hearts, sacrificial time, concentrated effort, and gift giving. Even Herod told them to go and "seek diligently" (Matt. 2:8), but we all know his heart! But the whole reason the wise followed the light, came to Jesus, gathered in His Name was "we have come to worship Him" (Matthew 2:2). I will admit, I don't really think of "worship" when we are under the tree? So, when they did arrive there on that day, to celebrate the birth of the King, look at what it says "And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh" (Matthew 2:11).

We always pray before opening gifts, trying to keep Christ in Christmas, but this year, before the first bow is given, I think I will invite my family to pray and share "a bow" with me to give Christ our worship as a gift this year, the first gift....a real bow, not just our heads in prayer, but our whole beings (on bended knee) in worship before God to truly thank Him for the gift of His Son.

Then, maybe after all the adhesive bows are gone, that one bow will stick in our hearts!

As Friday came to an end, I thought, "I will, I will" when another girlfriend replied to me saying, "you must blog this BIG time!" So just imagine my surprise (and conviction) when the VERY NEXT day came along and Saturday brought this gift of pose-able action figures for our son, Jeremiah, from his Great Aunt Gerry.

Yep, I fell down in the floor and admired each of the 12 pieces. I bended their knees...even the camels and took this picture for you! Thanks Aunt Gerry...it was not only a gift to Jeremiah this year, but an encouragement to me! And to my girlfriends who encourage me to write and post on the blog...that is a gift I am thankful for, too. Merry Christmas, I am so glad that we share our gifts and present them to Christ first, then others.

Have a Worship-Filled Christmas,

April

The Student Becomes The Master, She is!

So, there was a whole lotta shakin' goin' on today, friends!

Where were you on August 23, 2011, the day that the earthquake hit Virginia? That is my new question!

Well, as for me, I was here at the computer in our home office downstairs and I simply thought I was loosing my mind. The house creaked and made noises, the windows sounded like they do in a hard mountain storm, and I saw the flat screen computer monitor shaking and I felt unbalanced...more than on my most frazzled day. You know what I am talking about Shannon! I shared with a friend that it felt like when you are a little girl playing outside and you twirl around and around making your dress fly, then stop. You know, that dizzy feeling? That was me at 1:51 p.m. today, August 23, 2011.

Thanks for those who called and checked on me or sent notes on-line. :) God blessed us all and we are fine!

But, to be honest, I kinda panicked and called my hubby at work and said I thought something was wrong with the house like a water line ruptured or gas line exploded. I was even leaving a message on a voicemail when I heard the news just moments later and I said, "I was just in an earthquake" and hung up. HA! I did call back later and explain. :)

I was fine, but what an out of control experience! Not just physically, but emotionally. I did mention that our son, Jeremiah, just started Kindergarten, didn't I? Oh my! Just thinking about him at school without me was overwhelming! It was those "first day of school feelings" all over again. Was he at recess? Did he feel it? Did it scare him? Is he ok? Is he ok? Is he ok?

You know why cell phones were jammed this afternoon, don't you? Mommas!! Because mommas were checking on their once kindergartners no doubt!

Tonight I am praising God for another reminder, one that registered 5.8, that He is the one who moves Heaven and Earth and cares for those who dwell there. Thank you God that we are never ever too far out of Your Reach, even when our kindergartners or college freshman are. Whew!

But I have to share this story about the end of the day. I was on FB and checking on friends and their funny post about the day. Everything from Jerry Lee Lewis's song to posts about "shaking things up" made me finally laugh about it. But then, sweet Rebecca...
...I read about her "EE" Earthquake Experience from early at the high school (we just finished prayin' her into cosmetology class her Junior year) and she just blew me away. She instantly shared that today's events made her think of Matthew 24:6-13.

Ummm...I wasn't totally sure what that reference was, so I had to look it up before I could reply. From verse 7 and 13, "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places...but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."

I sat at my computer and just smiled. Rebecca, a high school Junior, ministered to me today...her soon to be Soul Surfer Bible Study leader.

This must have been what Yoda felt like with Luke Skywalker (new craze at our house...thanks McDonald's Happy Meals!). Hey Rebecca, you wanna teach this year? Hey wait, she did last year and will be this year some nights with Kaitlyn and Bethany, too! WOO HOO! Yep! Our class even has a "Bethany!"

Thank you for the reminder of verse 13, Rebecca. "But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." A gentle reminder that when everything around us shakes, crumbles, falls, collapses, cracks, gives way, and trembles...AND it will...we have a PROMISE to CLAIM that if we stand firm on the name of Jesus, stand firm in Him and His promises, we will be saved..from it all.

Where were you on August 23, 2011? I was in the Word with Rebecca! Thank you, friend!

Waves

Grateful for the sunshine, the smell of morning, and the cool air, we walked up to the corner of the yard.

We heard the rumble of the engine before we saw the yellow of the school bus.

That's when it happened, friend.

My son, Jeremiah, urgently almost breathlessly said, "I wanna pray!" Didn't we just do that last night and this morning? The bus was turning the corner and my kindergartner dropped to both knees...on the street....in his new jeans, and prayed for his day. Got up, climbed on board, took his seat, and went to his first day of school.

I have never seen someone begin their day more humble.

What is a momma to do? Wave.

Recently, I have been doing a lot of reading about waves as we gear up for our teenage girls Bible Study on Wednesday nights. How can you do the new Soul Surfer Bible Study without talking about waves, right?! But I was struck by the description of how from shore, surfers look like they are just sitting out in the middle of the water on their boards and doing nothing, but they are. They are watching waves come and go. As they are moved up and down in the water, they wait for the right one. They wait until they "feel" the right wave arrives, then they ride it.

My wave came today. I have been preparing, watching, teaching, instilling, and praying. Yes, there have been many ups and downs as I have stayed home for 5 1/2 years. But, I knew this day would come. I have felt the rise in the tide this summer...tying shoes, picking out what he thinks matches, not asking for help in the bathroom, sharing opinions and even asking the hard questions. Friends, that big WAVE came today.

God has waves for each of us. Some are meant to just ebb on by...not all are ours. Others are meant to swell and specifically train us. A few...those few amazing ones are meant to be enjoyed, ridden, and rejoiced in. Today, tasting the salt water of my own tears, I trust in Jesus. I trust He is preparing not just me to be the mom that He has called me to be, but I trust that He is preparing Jeremiah.

Ride on, Jeremiah. You are called to ride waves that arrive for you, buddy. Each wave is different. You won't score perfect 10's every time. God provides and appoints; Momma stand on the shore and WAVEs. My heart swells with love for you today, son.

Friend, are you riding the right wave for you? Praise God if you are. But if not, stop. Find God's best for your life. Learn to wait on Him and for His plans. Ask Him to teach you and give you eyes to see it, even if it far off on the horizon. Trust in Jesus.

If you are like my friends moving to South Dakota, and it is rough, choppy, and you are barely hanging on. Trust in Jesus.

But, if you feel like you are sitting in the middle of the Pacific (and have been) waiting on "the big one," remember you would not want to be any other place when God sends it to you. So, Trust in Jesus.

No matter your answer, today this is for me and for you...


Waving, but Trusting More,
April

Milestones & Waterfalls

Have you ever casually taken "that" picture while on vacation only to realize later that you hold in you hands "that" one snapshot that captures everything?

The week did not start out very good. It was the day before I was suppose to send an ENTIRE week with my 3 younger brothers for the first time EVER. If you really know me you know the planning list was long, the activity list was thorough, but the festive grocery list was even longer! So, what started out to be a routine run through the ATM lane, turned in to a $2,000 body repair on our mini van. The ATM ticket flew out of the machine, the door was opened, the car was not in park, and I heard "CRUNCH!"

Needless to say, that is not how I wanted to start one of the most important weeks of the year. My 3 brothers are 12, 11, and 9. We have spent the last 10 years building a loving and close tie despite living 2 hours away from each other. I have seen them graduate elementary school, be baptized, and laugh until milk comes out of their noses, and meet for traditional birthday lunch dates. But, how would I cope with 4 boys (including my own) under the age of 12 for a week with NO VAN!

As my hubby met me at the bank, handled all the calls with the insurance company, body shop, and car rental agency, I prayed and told the Lord that "Satan would not steal my joy!" and whispered "and please don't let him nab my peace!" UGH! I had to rely on faith that He would control this long awaited time with my younger brothers, even if I could not.

The first day = Albert and I sat on the carpet and played board games while my Jeremiah napped. In my first turn, I drew the letters S H A L O M. I felt God speak to me and reassure me that He provided "peace" like picking up letters off the floor during a game of "UPwords."

The fifth day = We hiked the Cascades. I have blogged about it before. But this time, we were Geocaching and the boys were loving it! Me? I was "glissening!" :)

(Jackson, Albert, Nicholas, me, and my Jeremiah)

I snapped a couple of pictures thinking I wanted to capture the "fun" we were having. You know, 5 miles of hiking for the girl who doesn't want to "go" in the woods. Well, that failed because after a bottle of water, I HAD TO GO! The surprise creek crossing that had me whining about having to take off my shoes and socks and go BAREFOOT...we did that TWICE! And when I said, "Well, I guess we are "MAKIN' MEMORIES!" That became the chant of the day well before we found the Geocache...and it was true!

(What treasure! Hubby & Son at bottom,
Brothers Michael, Albert, Nicholas and Jackson at top clockwise)

The eighth day = I cried the whole way home after dropping them off. Off and on, I would reminisce and waves of emotions would just wash over me. Any of you traveling through Virginia today, who passed that lady who looked like she was crying a waterfall, that was ME! There was a mix of gushing happy tears right beside cascading sad ones. I was glad that I was in one car and my hubby was in the rental. Sometimes a girl just has to cry and get it all out. In that moment, I thanked God for not having the mini van, having the time with my brothers, and milestone memories of great times with my family.

Then, if you know how good God is, this won't surprise you, when I got home, I found out that my first story of hiking the Cascades from last October had been published on the Lies Young Women Believe blog. (Click here to read.) What joy! What celebration! What love that my Father had lavished on me today! When I got the news, I thought back to this picture I had taken of the trail marker from the hike. It was this huge rock with an arrow pointing forward, marking the right path. I thought of Psalm 18 where God is praised as being My Rock. Verses 1-3 shower us with these words, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

The van is still in the shop. The rental is still in the driveway. And, the house is quiet and I miss all the laughter and fun. But, what a milestone this week has been in my life knowing that joy can stay and peace can stand on Our Rock, even when we feel rocky.

Which way is He pointing you? Are you being asked to relinquish control of your lists? Take off your shoes and cross shallow or deep places? Or just love and make memories? Ask yourself this, Psalm 18:31, "And who is the Rock except our God?"

Look to Him to point you in ALL the right directions...and watch out for ATM lanes! :)

A special loving thank you to Jon and Susie for letting the boys stay with us. I could not have done it with out my hubby's help and week of vacation. It was definitely a milestone for me and a cascade of blessing!

I Made Him Cry!

Friends,

Have you ever made a child cry?

No, not as a result of discipline or consequences, but from merely playing with them?! I did today...and felt just AWFUL.

I was playing pretend and made my little boy cry! Yet again, it was our son, Jeremiah (ironically called the "Weeping Prophet" in the Bible by scholars) who displayed Jesus' love for me in a HUGE way during our playtime together. Here is a little view for you and a lifetime lesson for me....

Playtime was on the agenda today for sure! See, yesterday, I was gone all day visiting new friends (Hi!) in North Carolina. However, that did not stop the BIG news of a new play sword being purchased reaching me before I even made it home! I have not figured out if Jeremiah wears a belt every day because of his amazing fashion sense just shy of 5 years old, or that is just how he can wear his sword and sheath all day. With my guess on the latter, and after drawing chalk castles and riding 3-wheeled horses, we created our scene.

The railing to our steps was the first dungeon.


And the second, was behind an old wooden chair.


In full character, I ran between the two calling to "the guard." First, I needed water, then I took a chance asking for a banana split which was served with a kind, "I even put extra bananas in it for ya!"

How sweet is that?! I know it only makes this story THAT much worse...or EVEN better, you'll have to decide!

So, the "convicted" from behind the stair railing called, "Guard! I must tell you. I took my friend's toy and I am so very sorry, I just feel plain awful about it, will you forgive me and set me free so I can go apologize to her?" The guard pulls his brand new, plastic, silver, made in China, sword out of the sheath and cuts the lock off of my handcuffs and says, "Sure, you can go to forgive her. You are free!"

With a proud guard placing his sword back in the sheath, I ran over behind the chair and called, "Guaaarrrrdddd! Now I want out! And I want out NOW! I am not sorry for bonking my friend on the head. Can I go free?" The guard answers in the same sweet tone, "No. Sorry you can't."

But going for the Oscar nomination, I persist. "Guaaarrrddd, what happened to the other person? Gone? Set free? First I want some oatmeal this morning and then I want to be set free!" Further award-wining dialog shares, "No, I can't say that I am really sorry for bonking my friend on the head. Pleaseeeee set me free?"

That is when it happened, friends. My preschooler with an amazing imagination started to cry ever so loudly with immediate red cheeks, huge tears streaming down his face, and the saddest countenance ever! I rush from behind the chair, move it aside, swoop him up in my arms, and sat him on my lap. "What is wrong, Jeremiah?!" He then explains the theology of forgiveness to me without even a commentary.

"Momma, when you were saying those hurtful words, and not being loving, I could not set you free. You did not want to forgive, it just made me feel so sad in my heart." And with that, the crying continued harder and louder. As I sat there holding my sad little boy with a brand new sword, I thanked God Jeremiah knew more than me today, even if I made him cry.

Yes, friends, I really did need a preschooler to tell me how Jesus has been feeling lately in reGUARD to me. Jesus has wept at my own unwillingness. I have made Him cry. His SWORD not only frees but provides the instructions for a CLEAN get away. Like pages of a book left on a cell floor, I share with hopes that you'll read between the railings and see how much TRUTH was shared in this just 20 minute playtime...others may need a WAY out.

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15

"For the word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints, and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

"And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." Ephesians 6:17

"Which executeth judgement for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry, the Lord looseth the prisoners." Psalm 146:7

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound." Isaiah 61:1

"Jesus said unto them, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

Jewels In the Palm of His Hand

So who doesn't know that I love jewelry?

Have I mentioned that?

All the girls in my Wednesday night Bible Study know about my "like" of this super cheap store in the mall that has the most fun and chunky necklaces, earrings, and huge rings for the amazing price of $3.99 each!! Love it all!!

That that is just my everyday jewelry. I have some very special pieces, too. My husband, Jason, buys me a very nice sentimental piece of jewelry for my treasured charm bracelet. Each year he chooses a charm that has a story behind it signifying the most important theme or event of that year. He writes that down and puts the story in the box, too.

There is a snowflake for our first kiss.

A pineapple for my 30th birthday in Colonial Willamsburg.

The cutest Charlie Brown Christmas tree for the only year we had a real one (a continuing debate!)...and I could go on and on.

My mom, brother, and mother-in-law have all contributed to my charm bracelet. But tonight, the neatest thing happened and I wanted to tell you!

We were in Bible Study and had the best time playing "Wind and the Willow" (trust game where you fall into other peoples' hands) to demonstrate trusting God's Will in our lives. If you have never played, I highly recommend it. We had a great time (Thank you Bethany, Rebecca, and Holly)!

Then, I looked down and saw this.

Right there was a baseball in a glove. All I could do was smile.

The charm's story: Jason and I did not know if we would have a boy or a girl as I was expecting. We called our baby, "Jellybean" for the entire pregnancy because that is what our child looked like on the first ultrasound. Well, the day after Jeremiah was born, I was holding him in my arms in the hospital room and my mother-in-law was so happy to finally know what color clothes to buy, she brought a baby blue outfit to the hospital for Jeremiah and a gift for me.

As I opened the jewelry box, I couldn't imagine what I would need...I had already received what I had wanted for so long.

I opened the box and there was a charm for my bracelet...a baseball in the center of a glove. April 20, 2006, I became a momma to a little baby boy!! I so remember the pride of that moment.

This was especially meaningful to me tonight because Jeremiah's first official T-ball practice is tomorrow and my mother-in-law passed away almost two years ago. We all still miss her. I couldn't help but just stare. I had had this on ALL day and I just saw it then.

I have joked about wearing "red socks" to be a true Team Mom...complete with red outfit and red ribbon in my ponytail, buying Big League Chew to celebrate a good first practice, and having hot dogs for dinner. But now, I can't forget to wear my bracelet to celebrate a significant day with my son. Thank you, Vonnie.

Yep, Isaiah 49:16 is not only prophetic, but a baseball verse..."See, I have engraved you in the palm of My Hands."

Just like we were talking about at the conclusion of our Bible Study, where else would you want to be, but at the center of God's Will? Who can pluck you out of of the Heavenly Father's Hand, if you know Jesus? Do you rest in knowing that God has His Hand on you? Always?

Pray with me.

Father, as we rest in you, may we fit like a baseball in a perfect glove. Your worn wounds make us worthy. Forgive us where we have stuck out and fouled. May we rest in the center of Your Will until it is time to go home, like Vonnie, only desiring Your Best for us. Until then, may we move like a willow in the wind when you call us up to bat. Amen.

IT IS HERE...IT IS HERE!

This week has been...ummm...unique!

DING DONG! "Hi, I am the bug exterminator, I got your call about the box elder beetles in your laundry room near the hot water heater!"

Then, DING DONG! "Hi, I am the gas guy, I got your emergency call about gas fumes from your hot water heater!"

A little later the SAME DAY(!), DING DONG! "Hi me again, the gas guy, I got your second emergency call about a gas leak from the meter we just replaced in your yard."

And just today, DING DONG! "Hi, I am the plumber, here to repair the hot water heater!"

And then, after all the repairs, DING DONG! There was my BELOVED JASON holding a box with my FIRST published devotional delivered right to the door having just arrived in the mail!

I screamed, ran up the stairs to the kitchen, opened the box, and started to cry...with my family! No photo enhancing here, friends!!

Jason would have never been home in the middle of the day if the hot water heater wasn't being repaired. The hot water heater would not have been repaired if I had not smelled the gas coming from the hot water heater. I would have never smelled the gas from the hot water heater if I had not just been doing my normal daily chores as a stay-at-home mom doing the laundry (on a day I really didn't feel like it)! I would not have been near the hot water heater so much, but did I mention that I was trying to avoid BEETLES??!!

What a blessing to have my biggest fan hand me a gift right from the TRUE Author and Finisher of my faith!

Immediately, the picture in my head was complete.

Repairs! I don't like them! I don't like calling repair people (God bless the work you do!) I don't like waiting for the work to be done. I don't like the cost of the repairs or the mess you have to endure to get the WHOLE job done!

But don't you want a safe and well functioning home?

Of coarse!

The Christian life is similar. Some would draw no symbolism to the newly published devotional arriving from the mail truck TODAY EXACTLY on the heels of the plumber leaving the driveway. Or even the beautiful gift of opening the door to the LOVE OF MY LIFE holding WORDS in the SONlight.

But others...those who "get it" and know how "it" works DO!

Lack of care, storms, abuse, wear and tear all lead to worn out appliances. Squeeky wheels need oil, old meters need updated, and heaters need pressure reducers to meet new codes and regulations. Am I talking about episodes from HGTV or our lives? :) Both!

"ALL things work together for GOOD to them that love God to them who are CALLED according to HIS purpose" (Romans 8:28). Despite depression, disaster, distruction, distration, and distruction, HIS desire is for GOOD for those who love HIM. Over and over, the Lord has shown me when I humble myself to roll up my sleeve, get in the mess, accept the cost has already been paid, DO THE WORK HE ASKS OF ME, and let Him clean the mess...blessing is knocking at my door!

DING DONG! The blessing OF the "Moment" is here.

"God, you are the AUTHOR,

please come right in!

So happy you are here.

You did a GREAT Work.

Please abide."

Friday: Picture Day!

Friday, I combed my little guy's hair, ironed his shirt, and washed toothpaste out of the corners of his mouth. It was picture day! At virtually the same time that I was at my first a Kindergarten Open House as a prospective parent, Jeremiah posed in his cap and gown as a soon to be Preschool Graduate! A day with a little tear in my eye, but a great day to rejoice.

The big block letters on his photo order form stood out to me, I thought...J E R E M I A H.

If you don't mind, I'm going to grab some tissues (sniff*sniff) and tell you the story of how Jeremiah got his name. Many friends have heard the story before, but I have never "written" it. Join me as I give God praise for answering me like only He could...and still continues to do.

This is the chair that I sat in when I asked God to speak to me.

The house was hot. Sun came in every window and winds blew the two large maples in our yard. Yes, it was spring, but I knew no life was in me. I thought it was cruel humor to endure our second miscarriage on April Fool's Day. I vividly remember exactly what the picture looked like on the ultrasound monitor that day. Many days after that, I don't remember, but there is this one....

I was angry. I had done all this before. I had cried until I had no more tears. I accepted God's sovereignty and comfort last time. I had made the phone calls just a year and half ago. I had endured the pain before. But again! Really?!

The house was quiet except for my footsteps, I was stomping toward our dining room table. I grabbed my Bible and a concordance, and sat and cried in my tattered bath robe. Not little light tears, but the huge hot ones that burn when they run down your contorted cheeks. Why would we have to endure this again?

As I LOUDLY poured out tears and my heart, I TOLD God, "I am not getting up from this table...I WILL NOT get up from this table until you tell me how I am suppose to go on with so much sorrow!! Until YOU tell me everything I need to know about MOURNING and how to get over it, I will not move!!" And I meant it!

I was worried that I would never stop crying.

I searched, read, and wrote out every verse in the Bible that had to do with mourning. I still have the papers. God loved me enough to not focus on my tone or attitude, but on my heart. I was so hurt and needed comforting like no other time in my life. Verse after verse, I was reading but nothing was resonating with me. I wrote and read half the day. Worried that my grief was immovable, I was feeling hopeless. However, in His Wisdom, He lead me to words that I needed to hear.

For the second or third time, I read Jeremiah 31:13, "...for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow."

I wiped my eyes and asked, does it really say, MAKE THEM REJOICE
Yes!
With that I had no choice. I could not carry the grief, sorrow, and mourning. It was too great to bear. But, if God said that HE would turn it into joy and HE would MAKE me rejoice, then I would get up from the table and TRUST. I did.

He did not tell me how I would rejoice, He just told me that I would. And at that time, that was enough.

For over a year through tons of blood work, lots of testing, hope in a third pregnancy, daily Heparin injections, an inuetero EKG, ultrasounds, biophysical profile ultrasounds, 6 doctor appointments EACH week for the last 6 weeks, fatal monitoring, and an inducted pregnancy, I TRUSTED God's promise from that verse EACH AND EVERY SINGLE DAY.

In the throws of labor, breathlessly I wanted to tell my story. No surprise if you know me, right?! I hollered (yes, "hollered") at the doctor to "come here, I want to tell you something!" I laugh now, but at the time I was serious! I made him come all the way up to my head and looked him in the eye and said, "We don't know if this is a boy or a girl, but I want to tell you if it is a girl, her name will be JOY and if it is a boy then his name with be JEREMIAH because after our second child died, God spoke from Jeremiah 31:13 and said...." There were tears in that room, too

My friends, get a kick out me sharing that when they laid Jeremiah on my chest for the first time, I erupted in the Doxology..."Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him above ye Heavenly Host, Praise God Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen!" I didn't even leave off the "Ahhhhhhhhmen!"

He caused me to rejoice.

Today, look who sits in that chair ready for picture day.
I guess mommas never really stop crying.

God, thank you for collecting my "happy tears" in the same bottle as the sad ones.

Just this week, I was blessed and excited to have a friend share a new verse from Jeremiah 23:29 with me, "'Is not my word like fire,' declares the Lord, 'and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?'"

Again, I answer "YES!"

That verse in the chair at the dining room table was the hammer that broke through my grief and built up my trust. What is yours?

I never assume that my blog is of any new revelation. All wisdom and revelation is from the Father through the Holy Spirit. I just share stories of how I see God in my daily walk with Him offer a blog in praise. But if you are experiencing "rocks" in your life or in your heart today, I pray that the Word will break them.

Father, for all the women who have children in your arms, I pray and ask that you comfort those parents, mommies and daddies, on special days and in their tender times. Illuminate your Word in their Wilderness as you did for Jesus. For those facing adoption, Father make a way for them to be Your Hands and Feet to your precious creations, not only do you know where they are, but you know the hairs on their heads, and the arms you want to place them in. Hold them tight until you are able to unit them with their parents. Thank you for the special place we have in You, where we abide and know only love and acceptance. In name of My Rock, Redeemer, and ever Restorer Jesus, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmen.

Love is...

So, how is that Valentine Countdown working out for ya?!

That is what I have heard in my heart every day since we started our Valentine Day's Countdown.

Day 1. Read 1 Corinthians 13. That kinda stung after I lost my patience with toys not being picked up in the living room Tuesday night. I was not proud of my own irritation. I had asked for all the toys to be put away AND all the cushions to be put back on the couch (...it was a fort building night). Reading what God had to say in those verses was so convicting. God's Word about love made me see where I was loving and where I wasn't. LOVE IS PATIENT.

Day 2 - Wear Red & Pink...was totally met with resentment from a 4 year old who thinks pink is just a "girl's" color, wants to dress himself in turtlenecks everyday (What is up with that? Someone please explain that to me!!), and my hubby who was running late for work (I didn't even offer "a friendly reminder" that morning as he hurried around the house). Instead, I grumbled under my breath as I put on my pink shirt and wondered why was I even trying to do fun family things, am I the only one who wants to do this?! But later that evening when I met "the boys" at church, to my surprise and without "reminders" each of them had on red. LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING.

Day 3 - Decorate the House...are you kidding me? Today? Of all days? Don't know if you can relate, but let's just say "home (cleaning) was not where my heart was" today. Just yesterday, I was "pulling teeth," today I am the pain! :) I needed to do the dishes, laundry lingered, and I had even mentioned playing outside to a very eager son before my morning coffee. Now, I even needed to dust where the decorations would go! We did go outside. We did play. I did do the housework, laundry, dust, dinner...even fried it up in a pan!! As more and more got done today, how sweet it was to hear, "Momma, NOW are we gonna decorate for Valentine's Day?" We got it done! LOVE NEVER FAILS.

So, how is THAT Valentine Countdown working for me?

GREAT!

The whole purpose was to look for love...to remember to show love throughout the day...to be mindful of what God's love looks like. And how I have especially needed to be reminded....the "calendar planner" has needed it the most!!

Tonight, I was reminded of love in a surprising way.

My hubby came home with these...

....the table decorations were already on the table (see above story! :) ), but the flowers were a surprise. He said they were for "no reason or occasion." But I knew what they were for...see where the leaf was naturally pointing?! LOVE IS KIND.

(To be continued...)

Lookin' For Love

An unexpected snow day, brought a sweet expectation into our house!

A few days ago I saw this neat idea for a Valentine Countdown Calendar on-line. I made a few minor changes, grabbed the tape & crayola markers, and we have a new fun family activity to look forward to.

With Dad home for lunch, a rare treat, we sat around the table with peanut butter sammies (PB & honey for Jeremiah, PB & banana for Mom, and "just PB, please" for Dad) and came up with 14 ideas to celebrate LOVE and countdown to the BIG Day!

Here is our finished project...



...even "Little Bear" is feelin' the LOVE today!

Here is how it works...Each day, you "look" under the sweets for some way to express or celebrate LOVE! Would you like a sneak peek?! ;)

Look under February 1st! Our first thing to do is to read 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4-8! If we don't know what "LOVE" looks like, acts like, or sounds like, how are we going to celebrate it, right?!

A little background into the project: This past Christmas, our family read the advent book, The Jesse Tree, for the first time. It was such a huge hit at our house, I wanted to keep "looking for Christ" well into 2011! Funny what come paper, markers, and tape can do, huh?!

The word advent means the arrival of something important or awaited. Everyone looks for love, don't you think?! How I await for that little kiss on the cheek when my hubby comes in from his day at work! How I look forward to waking up our sleepy red head only to be met with hugs! How I await for that time in the day when I can sit down and look into God's Word and hear again of His love for me!

God's love is no small thing. Look at how Bible reminds us that He does love us. He loved us so much, that He sent is only Son to die so that you and I could have a relationship with Him, and even call Him "Father." That's why we need to celebrate it!

The poster is up...even made peanut butter cookies...needed a little something sweet after cutting out all of those little pictures of candy...but we don't have to wait until February for the LOVE. My prayer is that you will find the joy of God's love if you are looking (Hint: John 3:16), feel the presence of God's love if you are hurting, and share the goodness of God's love if you are celebrating.

Stop back by for stories of our countdown or tell us how you are experiencing God's LOVE!

Christmas Convictions

I have been making a concerted effort to complete a lesson a day (even if Jeremiah doesn't nap) to finish my Liberty University Home Bible Institute program by May. Graduation is finally in sight. I even added it to my Facebook profile to help with personal accountability...because you know THAT helps!

Well, as I am 7 out of 8 lectures through the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit, I stopped dead in my tracks in the baking aisle of Wal-Mart today. As I grabbed odds and ends from my list (groceries, wrapping paper, a Sharpie for Christmas cards, etc.) I was letting Jeremiah lead the way and help pick things from the shelves. That's when it happened!

Jeremiah, age 4 1/2, picked up one the of the large economy sized vats of vegtable oil (not on The List). Why do they put the big things on the lowest shelves? Every notice that? Stuggling, he turned to the attravtive elderly lady standing next to him and in a voice of a 30 year old he announces, "Ummmm....I have a question for you."

"For me?" she smiles.

"Yes, just for you," he assures her. "Do you believe in Jesus?"

Oh Jeremiah, we don't even know this lady. Lord, what is he going to do if the woman tells him "No." Jesus, what do I do if she tells him, "No"?! Should I intervene and smooth this generationally challenged conversation over? I let him speak.

The lady walks over, Jeremiah stops stuggling with the oil and sets it down right between them in the middle of the aisle. There's not another soul near by. She pats his red hair (he is used to it) and answers. "Oh yes! I do! That is a very important question. I do believe in Jesus."

Whew!

But Jeremiah isn't done. "Jesus came to earth and that's Christmas," he reports.

"Yes, it is," our new friend agrees. "Have a very merry Christmas, sweet boy" and she pats his red head again and walks away.

Jeremiah returns season's greetings and says, "Merry Christmas!"

I walk around the cart, bend down, pick up the oil, and put it back on the lowest shelf not really sure what to say to my son. Before I can even process what just happened...did something just happen?...Jermeiah eagerly encourages me, "Com'n Momma! Let's go tell everyone about Jesus!" I smiled and even laughed. Where does he get this from? (I know there will be blog comments to answer that question!:)

As we stroll through the store, I have no idea what is left on The List or even what I did with it, so I ask him, "Jeremiah, what would you have done if the lady would have said, 'No, I don't believe in Jesus'?"

"Simple, Mom," again not even sounding even like a 5 year old, "I would have just invited her to come to my church with me."

And, I pondered these things in my heart.

Remembering my recent lectures, page 644 of my textbook describes how oil is an emblem of the Holy Spirit. The popular Shephard's Prayer reminds us that "he anoints our heads with oil." Even, Jesus. Luke 4:18 shares that Jesus said, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel too the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised." That is why we have Christmas. I, more than anyone, need to remember that this holiday season.

Let me be honest friends. Had the answer really been, "No," I hope that I would have known what to say. I pray that I would have had the courage to share. I trust that in the future, I will be Jeremiah's example instead of him being mine.

I leave you with this.

The Holy Spirit DOES empower us for witnessing, "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth" (Acts 1:8). And today, I think that even included Wal-Mart.

And, the Holy Spirit WILL FILL our mouths with appropriate things, "But when they shall lead you, and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that house, that speak ye: for IT IS NOT YE that speak, but the Holy Ghost" (Mark 13:11).

See, I have spent all week making sure that I get "the lessons" done. But maybe not the right ones. It isn't just important to hear The Word, but do it. Take "the oil" off the shelf! It is right there. Use it. The biggest resource we have is in the humblest place to make it the most accessible.

Remember, God approached you along time ago, in a manger with Christ!

Merry Christmas from Wal-Mart, in the aisle with the Crisco!

New Balance and Solid Footing, Part 2!

So, last week I was learning about the barefoot running movement. Neat! Would you believe, that this week brought me right to the sidelines 2 stellar athletes. Both barefoot. And thus, I share, Part 2!

The one line from last week's magazine article that quickened my heart rate and even my pace was, "The more cushion, the less you feel the ground." Wanting to be more in step and run my destined race with less pain and injury, I pondered this question:

Q: Being barefoot, should you run barefoot in the mountains? or in the valleys?

Index card after index card covered her skirt stained with wet tears. My friend was visibly touched that we encircled her and her husband for prayer Sunday. But as she brushed tears away, I was caught up in my own moment. (You know the ones where you are in a crowded room, but suddenly you see something that makes you feel as if you are the only one there noticing it!) I saw those wet drops on her lap be immediately covered up as friends handed her index card after index card - white, yellow, lined, unlined - stationary sealed with a sticker, pieces of paper, and cards in envelopes. Each enscribed with verses from God's Word. Each meant to abide with her. Each would have to be a purposeful read because when facing giants, "cushion" would be required in the coming days.

This was not my first experience with "Index Card Love."

I distinctly remember hearing the flip and shuffle from one index card to another as a mother waited while her elementary aged son was in pediatric neurosurgery to remove a brain tumor. In a family and friend filled waiting room, I heard each flip thinking "and another hour has passed." Each hour she would silently read and mediate on a verse from God's Word never failing. There was no other "cushioing" that day.

What examples of faith you are to me! What athletes as you share your most vulnerable times of your life with me! Your race allowed me to see how you run...how you set your pace...how you navigate the terrain. Praise God! A giant slain! A boy healed! You felt each and every step along the way and did not rely on your own strength at all! Thank you for helping me answer my question this week.

You would think that these women I speak of are my life long friends, but not so. As I arrived along the sideline of each of their races, I barely knew them. Divine appointments brought me into these runners' lives. There was no denying it. As our friendships were merely in a blooming season, we shared the Word, a "cushioning," if you will.

New and old friends, let's answer!

A: Remember the statement, "The more cushion, the less you feel the ground." It is true! Think about it...Why do I want to know if I am feeling a mountain or a valley? Dealing with rockey or rolling? Slippery or smooth? Muddy or mellow? Up or down? He will bring me through! I will not dwell on the terrain below, as He directs my paths ahead. I want more "cushion" from the Word to feel less of the ground below. I want more of the Truth. Terrain may change. It will. But, Truth says, He is ever constant, never changing, and faithful. So, let's be vulnerable enough to feel less ground!

I think these 2 verses go together like a pair of "new balance:" First, Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways (mountains and/or valleys) acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (even make'em straight, if crooked). But, who is "He?" That brings us to the second verse. In the begining was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God," John 1:1. No matter how high, how low, how wide, how deep, the grinding race gets, nothing can separate us from the Love of God. He, and in Him alone, is the firm foundation.

For less pain and injury we have to do our part. We have to rid ourselves of all the false lies that harm our hearts with fear, anger, guilt, shame, injustice, pride, jealousy, malice, hate, selfishness and any other hurrdle of sin we might face. Each is like a burning blisters in bad shoes, you feel it in each step along the way. This week...I have to admit, I have had a couple of hot spots and raw places. :( Sometimes others saw, but always God!

The runners of the world say, "The more cushion, in your shoe, the less you feel the ground."
That is true.
But, the readers of the Word say, "The more "cushion," in your soul, the less you feel the grind AND the MORE you feel the SOLID ROCK!"
That is Truth.

Loosen laces of lies. Kick off barriers. Set your eyes on the prize. Hurrles will come, we are promised that. Look to the sidelines, share your pain (with God and others of God), and let them "cushion" your steps with the Word. It helps. Run to it. It provides the GREATEST "cushion." Remember, GREATER is He who is in the race with you than he that is "lying" in the way!!!!

That's what I witnessed from 2 girlfriends, and they have the bare feet (and index cards) to prove it! Well done, good and faithful ones!

Laundry: My Weakness!

So,what am I doing bloggin' in the middle of the afternoon? I know...CRAZY!! Well, I have spent the day with these two ladies who have done an amazing amount of work and brought me to tears!
Yes, many who know me know that laundry usually brings me to tears because as I share, "it is just not my strength, girls!" I can get the beds made, pick up the house, take out the trash, dust and vacuum, plan menus, grocery shop, and keep the dishes done (almost everyday), but the laundry always lingers undone! So, after a week with a hubby and his terrible cold, a preschooler with an unexpected accident at 3 am, and a week including a 4 mile family hike complete with waterfall, preschool pumpkin patch field trip, and day trip to West Virginia...the mounds of whites and darks turned into moun-tains!

Today was the day! I was so proud of this accomplishment! I know there are women out there who know how this feels! :) Hooray!!

(Notice that I took a picture of the completed pile, not the numerous piles in the laundry room floor! We all know how THAT feels, too!) So, I am not done with the laundry, but it was somewhere in this basket that the tears came and I just HAD to share!

I came across one wash cloth and thought, "Wow, really rugged around the edges." Then another towel and thought, "Boy, you have seen better days." Yes, I was talking to the laundry! All the while, I was envisioning opening beautifully wrapped boxes with glittery bows Christmas morning filled with lush white linens as I inhaled the fresh Bounce scent...HINT...HINT!

But then, I picked up the dish cloth. I think he was used as a oven mitt in the heat of getting dinner ready one especially busy night. Although freshly brightened with bleach, his navy blue stripes were ignored due to the enormous black (maybe burned) stain in the upper corner. For a moment, I thought, "Need to throw THAT ONE out for sure" and then I just couldn't do it. It just wasn't that bad. Whether it was still a dish cloth or a new dusting rag, it hit me. I felt sure, "It still has a lot of Life in it!" Then, the Holy Spirit washed over me!

Doesn't Jesus use us with stains...marks, even scars?!

He knows that we are all different to begin with, right?
And, He gifts us all in different and various ways through the Holy Spirit!
Plus, we all go through life with different loads, too! Ever thought of that?!
But today, as I folded that little dish cloth just as nicely as the newer ones and stacked it up to be placed in the linen closet...I thought, there will be a time I will use you.


[Sniff, sniff] Yes, I cried over the laundry. I needed a break. I was overwhelmed with "my laundry."

I took the break. How many times have I been guilty of thinking that God can't use me or worse, doesn't want to use me? I have been mistaken to think that I need to do something in order to be used...I just need to get a little bit better, or I just need to organize my time more, or I just need the right motivation, or....

The TRUTH is that God wants to use us. Right now. We need to let Him work in us, not us dictate what the to-do list is for Him. Let Him decide what needs to be washed, removed, freshened, softened. He will show you. One load at a time. He will do the work. He will get the laundry done. Ask.

Paul said it best as he wrote to the church at Corinth, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." God knows that I fret about the laundry. It is just never done. And that is ok because He wants to perfect us, renew us, even change us from glory to glory . Until then, get in there! Get going! Be usable! Be open!

I am. Friends, spiritually and literally, there are more loads to do. But, I am glad that I don't have to do them ALL!

Pick-A-Low

A crash coarse in high school marching band about sums up my day.

One of the best things that came out of our Young Ladies Summer Bible Study were the relationships. All 15 chapters have been read, chairs and table are back the way we found them, and school's first day is Monday for most. The Bible study is over, but somehow the teaching continues - theirs, not mine.

All day I looked forward to seeing a few girls from our summer Bible Study at the first local high school football game tonight (we won). Hugs, introductions, and school colors filled the night. While most spectators made their way to the concessions as we lead at halftime, I sat on the edge of my seat and tried to see familiar faces take the field in the high school marching band.

During the third selection, as red flags sailed through the instruments, lightly high pitched notes filled the air in a crowded football stadium. Hundreds of people talking, different drums beating, and with a marching band playing, I still heard the notes that no others matched.

Know what it was?

The piccolo.

So. Here is my question for you. How is it that God can make the mighty from the minute? You know it is true. Right?! There was David (beat the giant), there was Esther (Jewish queen), and the Mustard Seed (moves mountains) , then ultimately, Jesus (swaddled infant Savior).

I was reminded of a verse read just earlier today from John 3:30,

"He must become greater; I must become less."

My Barefoot Unabridged Blog Translation reads, "Be piccolo!" (Italian for small).

The piccolo is just half the size of a flute, but has the same fingerings; and echos an entire octave higher than what is written on sheet music. Don't you find it interesting that in the world's largest award-winning orchestras filled with the biggest names in the classical music, the piccolos are chosen for most solos because they are the ones that can be best heard and most clearly distinguished from all the other instruments?

Under the stadium lights, I asked myself, "Do I desire to be small?" Well, ask me the morning after eating Krispy Kremes? The answer will be a resolute, "YES!" But, as I looked away from the bright lights and saw spots, I asked again, "But, do I desire to be small on the inside...where only One sees?" If I understand my midnight Wikipedia piccolo lesson and God's Word, less is the "more."

When we pick-a-low-er place before God, we make room for His might.
When we pick-a-low-er view of ourselves, we make way for His vision.
When we pick-a-low-er position, we make way to welcome His Presence.

Big God, I am sorry for not being small on the inside. What a resounding gong I have made ringing in Your Ears. I ask you to forgive my arrogance, my pride, and my geometrically-challenged ego. Embracing Your Grace, I give you more room. Knowing my lesson is for Your greater Glory. Be merciful, O God, while your Holy Spirit magnifies the truth that You do make the mighty from the minute, if we play the pick-a-low. Amen.

* This blog is dedicated to my friend, a talented 10th grade marching band musician, who loves Jesus, and unknowlingly ministers with her piccolo! Thank you for making Him great while being less. Hugs! :)

Whale of A Tale!

Many of you know that I have been trying to keep things afloat for a couple of months now (speaking, writing, teaching, mentoring...of yeah, I'm a wife and mother, too). As my "rapidly" new friend Cindy says, I have even had to "say no to the good things to say yes to God's best." God has so richly blessed this season of my life, I even described it as Spring! So yesterday, I declared that today would be "NEW!" I even posted on Facebook for some on-line self accountability that I would establish a new "summer routine," if that is not an oxymoron!

So with the 4th of July at my back, the freedom of being on holiday is over! God has so much in store for me to not take care of myself with late night projects, quick lunches, and bottomless cups of coffee.

Today was met with early morning curled hair (Praise the Lord- that is a sign of soaring, not just floating! Amen?!), printing a beach lapbook for Jeremiah, a huge mega check-out at the local library of beach (and pirate) books, a grocery store run for surf and turf for grilling tonight...are you starting to see my theme for July?! I like that type of routine so much better than my son waking up before me, "just coffee please!" breakfast, and a lengthy debate concerning my hair...shower or ponytail?!...during a.m. cartoons. Laughing?! I know that is not foreign to all of you!

As the morning routine brought me to my favorite quality time before nap, Jeremiah picks this as his first newly borrowed beach library book...
First, let me explain. My son as only two requests as we plan his first trip to the ocean at the end of the month: "Momma, I want to see a pirate ship and a WHALE!" Are you kidding me?! What happened to sea shells and sand castles?! I'll even throw in a new bucket and shovel, little one! Gotta love a son who has high personal aspirations, right?! Ship (boat, maybe) I can handle. Whale?...go ask Dad!

Naturally, with that in mind, this displayed book (thank you public librarian!) was tackled as my son climbed the shelves to reach his goal. He fanned the pages on the carpet right between my feet as Momma looked for others on "The List" and met her alphabet challenges head on! Why is that so hard sometimes?! With lunch's grilled cheese still in the corners of his mouth, he was ready for his "whale of a tale" naptime story. I opened the never before read book to meet, in a beautiful font, with a blue heron soaring at the top of the page.

Yes, I snapped a picture of it! Are you kidding? I felt God speak right to me while reading my son a nap time story! Could it have been any more clear?! Each page, organized by days of the week, reminds us what to rejoice over, be thankful for, and praise God about - just as Creation does. One line at the end of the "Easy Reader" mentioned the orca whales "spaying their praise." So beautiful!

Friends, I don't think it is about routinely staying afloat. Do you? Where is the excitement in that? Even that can feel stagnant. Joy and life are about intentionally raving God with "sprays of praise." Wouldn't you agree? I am praising God for the "Beach Month" that has begun in our home and in my heart. New day #1 - beach homeschooling lessons, beach library books, beach dinner on our deck, and a grateful momma whose Dad DID show her a whale today!

Father, Creator, Sustainer, I rejoice in this day that you have declared as "new." Forgive me for focusing on floating instead of flourishing. I stand barefoot on the Rock, ready for You to wash over me with waves of Your love, mercy, peace, grace, and faithfulness. I will daily delight my heart in casting praise in all areas of my life only to reel in Truth. Thank you for this small book with a whale of a lesson for me...and at the hands of my son...oh how you know what is possible from that! Amen.