Tuesday, July 9, 2013

"BACK" to Blogging from a Convalescent Carpet

Thank you for all the wonderful Welcome "BACK" notes.  Each made me smile!
 
Plowing through May, I only found myself face first in the carpet by June.  For future reference, friends, nothing gets you thinking about "control issues" like having to drink from a straw with your cheek on the carpet because if you move one muscle too many; it will mean another 3 pain-filled hours to find comfortable relief.
 
So, why haven't I posted to my blog in over year?
 
Things had really changed. I was working part-time at church, volunteering at my son's school, teaching a Bible study, helping on a few committees, trying not to drop the ball with dishes, dinner, and dental appts.  All good things, right?
 
 
Until I started to feel clogged.  Things just didn't resolve as easy in my mind anymore. Conversations left me strangled at points. I didn't feel I could vent, process, or release my thoughts in any form...not even texting and you just have a 160 character limit! Just how hard can that be?
 

No matter. I would buy a big beautiful journal and just write privately. Finding one on sale at the beginning of the year would be no problem. I just didn't have time to blog...  Blogging just takes too much time:  posting, uploading, spell-checking, linking, networking. One more "ING" was not gonna fit in my life.  
 

Then, why was lyING there? OUCH!  Who is lying?  This is really how my life was!
 

Genesis 3:1 "Now Satan was more crafty than any other beast of the field."...and to think that he even  knows about blogging!
 
What happened to me could pass me off as Eve's twin sister, only with cute navy-blue glasses.  In Karen Ehem's book, Let. It. Go.  How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith she describes what happened like this (pages 48-49):
Step #1:  Satan hissed hurling doubt April's Eve's way causing her to second guess God's plan and to question his command.
Step #2 :  April Eve didn't stay tuned to God's guidelines.
Step #3:  Satan twisted reality.
Step #4:  April Eve convinced herself.
 
Here is the short version:
-  Now, remind me why am I spending this time writing? And shouldn't  I update the look of it?  Is it really even good?
-  I stopped writing for an audience of One and started worrying about who was and wasn't reading my blog.  "My" blog?  When did we start calling it "your" blog?
-  This is taking time away from my family. Family is first, right?
-  I will stop blogging until the Lord tells me to go back.
 
Friends, I was deceived that quick!  Lied to. 
Amen, Karen Ehman! It happens! I was fig-leaf frustrated to say the least.
 
That isn't what God said.  What just happened?  But the problem didn't just occur with the initial hissing.  Know what God really said?  Not "Start a blog" or even "Write."  
 
He only said, "Abide."  I had long stopped abiding where I was suppose to be.  Mere functioning, is not abiding.
 
My ESV Study Bible notes say, "Abiding means to continue in daily, personal relationship with Jesus characterized by prayer, trust, obedience, and joy." There were so many things going on in my life at the time from relational conflicts to schedule MISmanagement and it was MY responsibility to keep it all from falling a part.  Where was the obedience?  The joy?  Not on my knees praying and trusting DAILY like I should, I can tell ya that.  I thought I knew better and could do better.  Than what?  God?! 
 
EVE-idently! (As I've read from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in Lies Young Women Believe!)
 
Then, it was only a matter of time before the hissing would strike where it would hurt the most.  And, it did.  Writing before the Lord is where I enjoy my times of abiding the most.  An open Bible, paper, pen, computer, prayer list and the ability to see things in the light of His Word.  You know, the carpet has never felt so comfy!


"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you...These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and the your joy may be FULL!"  John 15:7, 11

1 comments:

Cindy Bultema said...

Oh how I love this post, April. I have missed your keen insights, creativity, and Truth-filled voice. I'm super sorry for every second of discomfort you've experienced since your back injury, but love having front row seat as God is using this trial to strengthen and grow your faith. Keep writing, friend. The Kingdom is blessed by your authentic sharing.
xoxo

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