My fifth resolution of 2010 was to allow God to purify and cleanse what He wished so that His desires could take root in my life. What was I thinking?! Allow me to translate New Year's Resolution #5 to help you get a better picture, "Lord, paint a bull's eye on my forehead, set me in an open meadow, and yell, "April, is IN SEASON!"
Matthew 5:8 says, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." So many of us want to see God, face to face, but purification is painful. Unpleasant. And right now, I feel like it's Poster-child!
I got "hit" for the first time at Christmas...I covet...I want what I want, not what is always best or even what God wants for me. Then, at New Year's...I'm jealous...I want what other people have instead of what God wants for me. Then, I mean, I have already identified 2 sins in my life, I mean how many more could there be, right? But, as recent as Monday, I saw that I wanted to be right so much more than to be healed. To only my surprise, pride was the third and final blow. It was finished. Resuscitate me, FATHER!
For me, it is not a far stretch to think of Jesus cleansing the temple when I think of Jesus cleansing the crevasses of my heart. Look at this picture, it looks painful, unpleasant, even purposeful, right? The items He was casting out are not the focus of the painting, you can barely see them; but our focus is His Presence. So, in hopes to aid the Omnipotent, again what was I thinking I ran to the Word. Are you there God, its me, I need to see you. And after reading 3 accounts of Jesus's Presence in the Temple, Mark 11, John 2, and Matthew 21, He met me 3 different times.
First, John 2:15 says that Jesus made a whip out of cords, that is pretty purposeful purification if you ask me. Then, step two, Matthew 21:12 tells us that he "drove out" those buying and selling and "overturned" tables and benches. When you hit people in here pockets (finances) that is pretty painful, don't you think? Hmmmm...does my oven have anything to do with this?! You know, even if there was this little old man sitting there petting a dove quietly, Jesus came in overturned his table, too. Nothing was allowed to stay. Then, and I did not know this, Mark 11:15-17 says that after he did that that He didn't even let anyone carry a basket back into the Temple. That is permanent purification, no? But in the end, look at all the things that happened. People were healed, amazed by his teachings, and the very next morning by a withered fig tree, He told His disciples to forgive. To live isn't just to love, but to forgive. This is not new for the Universe. It is not new to me, but I have been praying for "spiritual eyes" to see. Things are starting to focus. God cleanses, teaches, and perfects through the love of His Spirit and the forgiveness He extends through His Son. So...
Father God, you have been been very purposeful by using what is close to me to get my attention. There is no other way to hit those targets of sin hidden from view. I know that. It hurts. But Your aim is perfect. It does not miss. You have even struck here before and tried to clean, teach, and perfect and I would not allow You. I have brought more and more into your dwelling place. Forgive me. In the name of Jesus, work to make this lesson permanent. I do not want you to have to teach me the same thing over and over. You have so much more for me than this. If I have to stay in a place of purification to be used and cannot move from here, I will be still. In this spot, your strength is made perfect. I have found peace here. But, if it be Your Will to use me beyond this, I am ready to forgive. Forgive myself for sin and others, too. Now, teach me to forgive. Amen.
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